(774): He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
(508): Oh, so “normal” kinky, not “I wanna pee on people” kinky. I can handle that.

(210): It’s just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.

(802):
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow

(484): I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

(609): She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park.
Give me reason not to marry her.

(361): I’m okay with corrupting his young mind.
(1-361): Ew! He’s just a child!
(361): AND I’M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.